Premonition of Diverging Paths
by Dreams Bleed Ink
Summary: "Everything is going to be different now." This is a two-part short story about Hitsugaya's appointment as a Gotei 13 captain, a bit of an introspective piece. The 1st, "Lying For A Good Cause," is seen from Hinamori's POV. The 2nd, "The Things I Don't Feel," is from Hitsugaya's POV. (9/30/13: 2ND CHAPTER POSTED. This chapter contains most of the story.)
1. Chapter 1: Lying For A Good Cause

**Chapter 1: Lying For A Good Cause**

The first time Hinamori saw the white haori with the kanji "10" emblazoned on Hitsugaya's back, she felt alarm pierce her heart and wondered why.

"_I'm not ready,_" she thought. That must be it. And she certainly wasn't ready, despite having known that this was coming.

But the set of his shoulders (_they are broader than I remember_) and the smirk on his face as he turned to face her (_that cocky smirk, the same as always, same as the very first time I saw him… was it really so long ago?_), told her very clearly that _he_ was. And of course he would be, why shouldn't he be ready? Hinamori had seen the glances other students cast in his direction slowly change over time from mockery to awe. She heard the whispers: _child prodigy_. But she also knew that he worked hard. He always worked hard, even if others were inclined to chalk it all up to genius, as if genius was some kind of magic that granted him all his achievements. Two kids from the Rukongai, when had they ever had anything easy?

Of course he was ready. And she should be, too.

"_I'm worried for him_," she thought. And this, too, was true. Because it was now his duty to protect others instead of being the one protected; to put himself in harm's way so that others may be safe.

"_Captain Aizen is also a captain, and I don't worry for him. I don't worry about _myself_." _All true things.

Her heart still hammered. She didn't know why.

Hinamori studied him, this boy drifting down the inexorable river to time towards his future. He was still standing there with his devil-may-care expression, so at odds with his steady blue-green gaze that seemed ready to wait forever for her reaction. She held onto the steadiness of that gaze; it was the first time she ever relied on his strength, though she did not realize it. There are many things she does not realize, and this will prove to be the least of them.

Hinamori took a deep breath and carefully formulated her reaction to this news (_this _wonderful_ news_). She smiled brightly (_as she should_) and said loudly, "Congratulations, Shiro-chan!" Her (_cheerful_,_ very cheerful sounding_) words echoed across the courtyard of the Seireitei. All lies, this deliberate 'reaction' of hers. It was the first time she ever lied to herself, though she rationalizes it. There will be many more lies to tell herself in the future, and this will prove to be the least of them.

For now, Hinamori told herself that she felt nothing but happiness, that there was nothing to dread and very little will change. She ignored the strange piercing in her chest that felt like a rift in her heart, a premonition of the distance that would grow between her and him in the years to come.


	2. Chapter 2: The Things I Don't Feel

**Chapter 2: The Things I Don't Feel**

"Congratulations, Shiro-chan!" Hinamori's congratulations rang out across the courtyard, reaching the ears of other captains who were just walking away at that moment, having already given their congratulations to their newest member, each heading back to their barracks for the night as the setting sun cast the landscape in an orange-gold tint.

"Oi, don't call me Shiro-chan anymore, Bed-Wetter. You have to call me 'Hitsugaya-taicho' from now on." Hitsugaya scowled at her and crossed his arms, completely conscious of the fact that the other captains could still hear her, and feeling utterly irritated. He was a captain, she should show a little respect, not talk to him like he was her kid brother!

But the irritation also masked his relief. Hitsugaya hadn't missed Hinamori's strange expression on her face just before she congratulated him with a big smile, the pause that lasted just a little too long. He had wondered at its meaning, had almost started to worry for a moment there. But with Hinamori's ebullient smile turned on him (_though her smile seems unusually wide, and somehow doesn't seem to quite reach her eyes…_), he told himself that she was just startled to see him in a captain's haori.

'_Which is perfect. I outrank her now, after all, must be quite a shock_,' he told himself with a smirk. '_Nothing to worry about_.'

Hinamori laughed, "Right, sorry about that. It'll take a little getting used to. But listen, let's go celebrate! I'll treat you to dinner, let's invite Rangiku too. And…" Hinamori gasped as a thought occurred to her and blurted, "Granny! Have you told Granny about your promotion yet? She would be so happy! Maybe we should send a message to her first then plan for a dinner a few days from now. I'm sure she would love to see Rangiku…"

"Idiot, breath a little or you're going to pass out," Hitsugaya interrupted her excited monologue and conceded a small smile. "I already sent a message to Granny a few hours ago. I told her to expect us in two days."

"So let's go celebrate tonight! It's been so long since we last had dinner together, and this would be a great night for it. A celebration for the Gotei 13's youngest captain in history," Hinamori said and her face softened, the smile at her mouth growing smaller but somehow seemed to finally reach her eyes. And it was filled with pride. His heart thumped hard for a beat.

There had always been a doting sort of love in her expression when she looked at him. Almost from the very first time they met. Despite his odd appearance, despite his rude manners and cold demeanor, despite the other kids' whispers and distrust, despite the fact that welcoming him, a street rat, into her tiny home meant having another mouth to feed. Inexplicably, irrationally, against all odds, there was always love. The bond of a family. Hitsugaya never told her or Granny how that love healed the old hurt of being ostracized by the other children: the hurt that he told himself he didn't feel.

But he wasn't a kid anymore and he wanted more than to be doted upon.

Once he recognized the shinigami power growing within him, once Granny gave him her blessing to accept it and pursue his new life (_a blessing that's_ _as inexplicable and irrational as Granny's love_ _for me_), he wanted Hinamori to acknowledge him. He wanted her to see his power and be proud of him. And one day, to look up to him. In a small corner of Hitsugaya's heart, he wanted Hinamori to have the same expression on her face when she talked about him as when she talked about her 'Aizen-taicho.' But just like with his old hurt, jealousy was something he told himself he didn't feel.

Hitsugaya was ready to suggest a place for dinner when he noticed, over Hinamori's shoulder, a Hell Butterfly fluttering towards them. He extended his forefinger for it to alight upon. A moment later, a small frown creased his brow.

"Hinamori," Hitsugaya sighed, as the Hell Butterfly flew away, a small black shape soon lost in the cool twilight. "I have to go."

When he was a child, he might have expressed displeasure by complaining loudly or stomping his feet. They were his roundabout way of showing that he cared. But of course, such emotional displays were childish and he refrained from these behaviors, nowadays. As soon as he entered the Academies, he worked hard to change his image and scrub everything childlike from his behavior, including his Rugonkai-way of speaking. Low class.

Hitsugaya aimed for perfection. The youngest captain in the history of the Gotei 13 had a lot to prove. He was so focused on proving himself he forgot that he never learned to show that he cared any other way. So he just stood and looked at her quietly, trusting, knowing that she would understand. But as he was not yet wise, he didn't realize that Hinamori could understand this with her head and still feel disappointment in her heart, anyway.

In the future, he will learn firsthand how that feels.

"It's fine. Let's have dinner tomorrow." Hinamori smiled brightly. As bright as the smile with which she congratulated him.

"Definitely tomorrow," he said firmly. With a nod and a small smile that served as his goodbye, he turned from her. Hitsugaya suddenly had a flashback of the times when it was Hinamori who was the one to leave him behind with a smile, and felt a thrill at the role reversal.

"_Everything is going to be different now_."

A chill went down his spine at the thought, like a premonition warning him to fight this parting. A premonition that he told himself he didn't feel, suspecting that it stemmed from his personal feelings. After all, there was no place for his personal feelings in the Gotei 13. No place for emotional reactions. Emotions were childish, he thought.

This refusal to **react** will become a refusal to **act**, over the years. Because to react would be to acknowledge that he **does** feel… things like worry, hurt, disappointment and jealousy. And so, Hitsugaya will focus on not acting on those 'nonexistent' feelings, as he grows. This is a fact that Aizen will note to his delight, and a fact of which he will take full advantage, letting himself into more and more of Hinamori's life and subtly make everyone else less and less a part of it. Hitsugaya will not be there to notice that she sees less and less of her friends, and will only rationalize when she comes with him less and less to see Granny. To see him.

They will both have responsibilities to fill the long, long years ahead of them to overflowing, after all, and the eyes of the Gotei 13 watching, judging. Hitsugaya will 'understand' this, and so will choose to do nothing.

After all, worry, hurt, disappointment and jealousy were things that he told himself he did not feel.

**Author's Notes: **

The idea for this story came to me when I wondered whether Hinamori and Hitsugaya knew that everything was going to be different after Hitsugaya became captain. The logical answer, of course, is that they couldn't **know**. But they may have had a premonition of what it could mean. What strikes me about their relationship is that they don't **seem** to see each other very much, in the manga. And that makes sense, if you think about how work can get in the way of relationships in real life, if you don't work to prevent it. We often take the people we love for granted until they are hurt, or worse. This is the trap into Hitsugaya and Hinamori fell, I think. (I reserve to write another story in the future that has a completely different take on their relationship :P)

As for the last part of this chapter… well, it kind of wrote itself.

When I first started reading Bleach, I was as deliciously horrified as anyone else over Aizen's betrayal and felt terrible for Hinamori. Eventually, I started asking myself, "How would this happen, if this were real? Could the strange, worshipful and blind attachment that Hinamori has to Aizen happen in real life?" Then I realized, of course it could. It does. It's one of the characteristics of an abusive relationship. And one of the things that an abuser does is to isolate the victim from his/her friends and family, to dominate the victim's life so that they can control… well, everything, including how the victim sees the world, and themselves. Aizen himself said something similar, about making her need him, making her unable to exist without him. Since Hitsugaya is one of the most important people in her life, I wanted to explore one way that Aizen could have come separated them. I just didn't realize that I would do it in this story -_-; This propbably would have been a much cleaner story from a technical perspective if I had kept it to the theme of "premonition," as I had originally intended. But I lost control along the way, apparently, despite my best intentions.

A bit like Hitsugaya, I suppose.

Personally, I think if he had known what Aizen was up to with Hinamori (never mind what Aizen was up to with the whole world domination bit) he would have killed Aizen. Instantly.

Questions, musings, reviews and constructive criticisms are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!


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